Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Stories from an Undomestic Goddess

Those who know me are well aware that I lack in the domestic department.  Even my husband knew what he was getting into.  He told me early on in our dating life that my house (which I had decorated to the best of my abilities) looked like a bachelor pad.  He also often would vacuum my house while I was at work...I know it's a sad, sad tale...

When we lived up north, I hired a maid to deep clean our house 1 or 2 times a month so that I only had to tidy up and do minor cleaning as needed.  It was wonderful!  Especially with a new baby in the house.  When we moved down here, we moved into a little duplex that took 30 minutes tops to clean from top to bottom, so no need for a maid.

Now we live in a house down here (still renting unfortunately) and it is not so easy to clean.  I really try to keep up with the floors because you never know what Logan is going to drop and then stick in his mouth after it has been on the floor.  (He especially likes to line his crackers on the floor and eat them one by one...)  That being said, the folded laundry rarely gets put away, the dust lines all our shelves, and the dishes often pile up in the sink (even after running the dishwasher daily).

Logan went to day care yesterday and I had no plans.  Deep cleaning the house-here I come!  I scrubbed, mopped, washed, put away laundry, sorted toys, dusted, and vacuumed (with our sweet new vacuum) every room in the house.  EXCEPT the kitchen...after 3 hours of cleaning (I told you I really cleaned!), I could not bring myself to tackle the kitchen.  I instead sat down and worked on a few photo books and just generally relaxed a bit.

I picked up Logan from day care.  He looked so cute when I got there, but I had left my phone in my car, so I couldn't get a picture.  He had a snake costume on.  He apparently loved the costume and would not take it off!  Ha!  We came home and played a bit.  Then he started acting funny and was crying and being very clingy, which is not typical for him.  I could tell something was wrong.  I thought maybe he was hungry so I began preparing his dinner while carrying him around since he wouldn't let me put him down.  As I was pulling the milk out of the fridge, Logan opens his mouth, sticks his tongue out, and vomits all over me (and my spray tan), the kitchen floor (luckily uncleaned), and then proceeds to vomit again.  Poor little guy didn't know what was happening.  This is only the second time he's vomited!  As he's whimpering, I cuddle him and go fill the bathtub.  Into the bathtub he goes.  He had the most pitiful look on his face, but he let me wash him and cuddle him in his towel. 
I mentioned that I had spray tanned today and getting a spray tan wet before showering can be bad.  As I was bathing Logan, the bronzer was all over the edges of the bathtub and my arms and chest were looking splotchy.  After Logan's bath, I tucked him into our bed and took a 60 seconds shower to rinse off the spray tan.  It had been on long enough to tan my skin, so I was just washing the bronzer off.  Then I took Logan into the living room and we cuddled until Jeff got home. 
Logan was obviously fine after throwing up (although I did call day care to check that he didn't have any major head hits or anything out of the normal today) because he perked up after about 45 minutes and ate a whole can of ravioli, a half carton of yogurt, crackers, and lots of water and then proceeded to run around our house like a crazy man!  Not sure what upset his belly, but his not feeling well was very short lived, thank goodness!

Once Jeff was home, I decided to cut coupons because I was going to grocery shop after Logan went to bed.  I'm trying to be better about saving money.  As I'm cutting coupons, Logan runs to the couch and starts eating the coupons!  Really, he kept grabbing them and sticking them in his mouth and ripping them like a puppy playing with a roll of toilet paper!! (I mentioned Logan was being crazy last night, right?!?)  After Jeff and I attempted to corral him and stop him from taking the coupons, I gave up.  There was no coupon cutting and no grocery shopping done last night.

The kitchen's still dirty too...

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